Php 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Well.,cloudy and raining with a chance of meat balls! Sound weird I know, but lately if it rained meat balls I would get a fork and declare it was normal. 

We as a family have walked through the most difficult time in our life and frankly it is not done yet. I realized the other day I was complaining to God.God reminded me of something. I prayed for change. Before all this happened I was crying out for a complete over haul in my life and spirit as well as my children. I am not saying God completely destroyed our lives by killing off three family members and putting my Grandmother in a wheel chair.  Because I was crying out for change. NO!!! Because of this radical change in happenedin our life and my children’s.he used it for his glory.   I was been crying out for day and night in prayer for change through this we are growing.

The problem is when you pray for change you have a define perimeter in you head of what is acceptable and what is not to create the catalyst for change.. It is God we are talking about he will use anything to bring him Glory. The last two months I have been yelling stop God, enough. God has smiles gives me a  hug and says it will bring change. The family is moving closer to God . Past old ministry hurts things are breaking off of our lives . We are still walking through it all but on the end his is getting the glory.

The Glory

I wish I had a dollar for everyone that has told Ron and I “ Wow! you guys are doing so good. I don’t think I could have go through this as well.”  That always makes me think.wow am I spouse to act? Does this mean the family is not greasing? We are. I never kept Kleenex boxes around unless we have colds. I now own the Kleenex factory. Doesn’t take much for any of us to break down and cry. I am worshiping in church. Sharon comes over and in sign language told me she was going through some of Keeshond's baby clothes and found his ultra sound. She will give it to me after church. I burst into crying almost could not get a hold of my emotions and had to leave. 

However, strange things are happening.  I had a line of women wanting to have me pray for them after church was over. A teen age who asked me if she could film our for class project based on hope. What! Women are tell me that because of what we are going through and how we are handling it all they know we have strong faith and feel that can talk to me  about anything and I would understand. What! Are you kidding? They just want me to pray for them. In my vain rambling what I am saying is this. People are seeing something in our lives. The only thing they could be seeing is God. God is giving us strength, God is providing for all of our needs. God is changing us for the better. When I miss my prayer time that day, when I get self examining of me I see holes I am waiting for God to fill. When I keep my eyes on Him I see a family closer to God and the work God wants to do completed. He gets the glory and we get blessed.

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

--CS Lewis

If your reading this then you know the drama that has surrounded us for the last three months.  I will not go into details read front page of web page or check Ron’s my face page for more details. I think as people or maybe it’s just me we want everything in nice packages with little ribbons.  Ron and I have talked until their are no words left. “The Why ?’s”  As finite people with God destiny we do our best to connect all the dote but in the end of it all you are left with a guess of mental capacities of the why answer. Ron and I have never accused God of unfairness or asked why the house feels like a living repetition of the book of Job.

My focused has been a little different these days. Where do I want to be in the future and what can I gain as I pick up the pieces and walk away from all of this?

I have seen friends handle grief and determined very soon after the girls and Keshon were gone depression was not were I would go. Have a friend I grew up with we were PG together her with her twin boy me with Daniel.  A couple of years ago she lost one of her sons in a motorcycle accident was killed instantly. She went into a deep depression. She will not leave her bedroom.

Not for me.  I may hurt but my God is the God who heals and all of the kids are better in his care than mine. I do not have time to entertain depression. Have I felt depression during this time. Yes, but I have fought it. I will not spend the rest of my life in therapy because I am fixated on their loss.  Neither will every year celebrations be tainted by loss. If we have a hope of glory and our life is not thief temporal place I better celebrate every years with the joy of knowing they are happy.  God gave us the privilege to love and parent some pretty special kids. If I remember the celebration of  their birthdays by mourning their deaths it cheapens God’s gift to me.

My focused lately has been “What God do you want me to learn from all this?” What possible growth?” “God you have my attention what's up?”   Maybe that is what I will leave this whole thing with. For the first time in our lives we know that we a part of the body of Christ.  We knew we were with head knowledge. Never have really found a place that we fit into. Part of it is we are a little different, round pegs for square holes. Without the body of Christ I am not sure if we really could have made it this far. Right now  this is a  chance for God to have our total attention to clean house. Where He was talking to us before,  now he has our undivided attention and every breath rests on Him.  

Thank you again standing with us.

Letting me cry on some of your shoulders.

I will still be doing that.

But grief will not consume me.

Jenny

"I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18).

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

--CS Lewis

Our family has had a little more suffering, pain and surgery than most. After all you adopt special needs children and many …. it means many of your doctors and you are almost first name bases. The first week the new pediatric surgeon moved into town he saw one of my kids. Every child but one of mine he has seen. I know about his wife, his kids and how patiently he feels about his job. When he first arrived he was young very handsome with blond/brown hair. He is still very handsome but now his blue sparkling eyes are hidden by glasses, the blonde hair is replaced with grey and his kids are now half grown. He sees my kids now and all his does is shake his head and comment when the Young kids start having babies you know you are old. LoL

Hospital rooms, doctors, medication, and numinous specialist have been something I am use to. Our biological child was sick I gave up counting at eight reconstruction surgeries on his ears. He had always been a sick child until God touched and healed him at ten. Andrew,  I sat holding his hand the first year we adopted him because his immune system was so messed up that he had to have IV treatments to stay well.  Andrew as a teen stood on faith and believed God for his healing. When we adopted Paul he could barely walk because of the bone damage through malnutrition. Less than a year after coming into our home he was healed. Each child God has healed, in His own way, in His own time, for His Glory.

Ron ended up in the hospital emergency room Friday. I put him on the prayer list at church. Symptoms were the same as a recurring problem he had when we lived in CA. Turned out to be something different. He was in tremendous pain and then as sudden as the pain came it left. He should have been in more pain. Should have taken longer to turn around. It was a God thing. I have worked under some Godly Pastors who did not believe that sickness and old age would never come upon them. When it did they spent days denouncing it, rebuking it and fighting it. Many were healed some died and I will see again in Heaven.

We forget sometimes as Pentecostals that sickness comes as a result of the act of Adam. Yes, God for whatever reason, stops the natural progression of the death of these old bodies to heal them because He is God. Yet, we will all someday died and see Jesus. I just sat in a Mary Kay meeting and learnned I can get rid of every wrinkle, and stop aging  if I just buy hundred’s of dollars of facial cleaners and make up. LOL 

Old age comes, aches and pains all come. I think the greatest test is not if you have the faith to believe God for the Healing. But, to trust a sovereign God when you do all you know how to do and still have pain.

Young News

1. Cyndi Has a new Job. She is six months a long with her first son Keyshawn. God had blessed them with an opportunity to buy a new house.

2. Kirk sustained head injuries at his work. He was knocked out at the airport and sustained memory loss. Praise God his memory has returned and he is fine.

3. Andrew says they received heavy mortar fire at his base in Iraq. Praise God none was injured.

5. Monique got her first cell phone. She had a choose of moving with a friend to a group home or keeping her new job . She really enjoys her job and has decided to live with us.

6. Jacoby leaves for camp Monday and Fine arts after that.  

Ministry

Still growing. All is good! Second meeting and we added people. Workers and disabled. Praise God!

Hi everyone!

Late night and I am still up. Normal for me  these days.  It has been  two weeks since my surgery for  the correction or the impingement syndrome on my right shoulder. Translation: they drilled four holes in my right shoulder cut the bone in two places and sent me home. I have been told I am a head of schedule on healing. Well of of course people have prayed for me and God is in control. The doctor gave me permission to interpret services for the deaf but not raise my arms to upper positions and don not do worship and sermon. I still do not have a release to lift shawna and really it is all I can do is lift a milk carton without pain shooting through my arm. I don't think that is a problem. Sleeping has been kind of rough still and pain once in a while shots thought my shoulder up my right ear and gives me a splitting head ache . I have been told all normal. I interpreted Thursday youth service for the first time...hum... I really wanted to reach for the biggest pain pill I could find afterwards.All is well everything is slowly coming back to normal.

Baby Showers...IT"S a BOY!!  Cyndi's baby shower is in two weeks her due date is October 10th. I am the mom so baby shower I will throw. Something I am not really good at. Looking forward to being a Grandparent and baby sitter. I am still looking for something to snap on Shawna's wheel chair so I can push Grand baby and Shawna baby. People laugh when I say that but I am serious!

Weddings...,.UGH!!!!  It is a year away and once in a while I want to shake these two and say"MAKE A DESION........PLEASE!!!!! Come one.... you can't decide on the color of the almonds???? If I make it through this one I think I will pay the next child to look into Vegas!

Ministry is going well!!!! Good staff trained and getting the word out into the community about our program. Should be good.

MONIQUE HAS A NEW JOB! HALLIJAH!!!!!  She is working three days a week for  a company that does DNA testing as an assembler. I feel a victory dance coming on!!!! Finally a start towards adulthood!!!

Spiritually doing a lot of re-evaluation: I am 50 years old. I should be slowing down but the next ten years will be some of my greatest challenge in keeping everything together as I help caregiver to my mom who moved from CA, help babysit for my new grandkid, home school Jacoby, and keep a ministry going. I am asking myself allot about am I doing more than I am sitting in his prescience? At 50 am I still as passionate and desperate for his presence as I was at 12 when I first met him?

People are the first to applied me for all I do? Does he still applauded me?

Andrew in Iraq some #7

Well  pain medication for my shoulder and bed.

God Bless

Jenny

Here are my three Amigo and Amegas! My constant company during the day. Cute kids if I do say so myself!  Sometimes it is hard to know where they begin and I end. Because Monique and Jacoby do not drive I am always with these three. The want to participate in Youth Group and church things and I want them to be able to go so diving I will go. Driving them really is not a pain it is what to do with myself and Shawna once we get their. Decatur is a long ways to drive then to turn around and get them. But it is uncool to go everywhere with your mom yet, what do I do?  I don't want to go shopping all the time. Where ever I go I have Shawna and their are only a few things she wants to go. I have realized with I have been with these three so much. When they are asked a question I forget who is talking to whom and I asnswer for them. Got to work on that. Never been in this spot. I have always paired kids off with a brothers and sisters who drive but they are going on with their lives and these three are still stuck at the same stage adult but not adult, teenager but not teenager. Other Parents with is disabiled kids find they are in the same situation. I know of one Mom who is there right with me.  She sits in the last row of the church and her kid the first row.  Oh well, no solution just a fact of life.

Sorry guys!

Ministry is going!  Everything is procedding. We are about to have a great start. Looking forward to it.

Getting late ...God Bless

Jenny

We are at a strange place in life. One by One the kids are growing up and leaving. First the leave the nest was Daniel. Into the Milatary four years. The door swung open and the door swung closed many times as he went to Iraq found his way home and back to California until his time in the service ended. He lives across town at a very nice apartment. Has a good job and has learnned how to make lavish dishes. That boy can cook!! Unsure of what he wants to do still in life he works comes home plays computer games the cooks. I have remarked many times how Daniel need to forget college and his current job save up some money and open a restaurant or bakery. He just laughs only a hobbie mom. I seriously think that boy has missed his calling and he is way gifted. He needs to open something with Dianara and make some money. He told me he was too old for gifts this coming birthday. I told him too bad he is getting a gift and he better like it. So his wish list is a spice rack. I never thought I would be buying a spice rack for my son! But his is getting one.

Paul is back this week with plans to leave Memorial Day and fly back to his base in Colorado. He ships out soon for Germany for three years. The kid is growing up. He is so much more mature that he was a year ago. After being in Iraq for to times he reenlisted for four more years. The family for a brief time was all together again. It has been a short week but still we are together.  Andrew left two days ago for another year over seas in Iraq. I was ok when he left for Afghanistan I am less happy about him shipping of to Iraqi. He leaves through that door again as Sergeant. Cyndi as of March is married to Marline Sanford. She is at the house a couple of times a week. She is 4 month PG and our first Grand child will soon be born. Do they make a stroller that fits onto a wheel chair? She just received her pink slip so after two years she is searching for a different district and a new job. She and marline have a very nice apt. in Madison about 10 minutes from the house.

Dianara is not home much as she makes preparation for her marriage in May 2010. Right now our family consists with four kids at home. Wow changes. I have taught 3 teenagers to drive, been a shoulder to cry on  when dreams an plans as have ender. Still I have kids at home. I am 50. Shawna is home full time with me, Jacoby I am home schooling. Monique may have found a job we will know more on the end of this week. The reviving door. I have had to start thinking in numbers of eight and now in numbers of three. Very different for me and a great challenge.

Ron is back from Germany and will soon be picking up my mom and helping to move her to Alabama. She is 75 years old. She still gets around good but really our family is the only family she has left. Everyone has died and we are only ones left.  In years to come I will be also caring for her.  Ministry soon starts for us at Calvary. We are still working with the disabled but at Calvary we are trying to open a young adult group to meet one Sunday night a month. Pretty excited about that. Keep that is your prayers.

God Bless American and keep all the men and women called to serve safe in his hands.

Jenny